Fed up with government ads filling ad breaks

Watching the last ad break in Celebrity Big Brother tonight I am totally fed up with the amount of adverts from the government filling each break.

Firstly I had to watch the ridiculous advert telling me to drive five miles less each week. Given the price of petrol these days the times when I used to go out simply for a drive are long gone, so I find the adverts patronising and silly. Then I had to watch an avert about apprenticeships, again paid for by the government.

It's even worse if you listen to commercial radio with whole ad breaks sometimes being 90% made up of government funded ads.

It seems in this recession the only source of advertising income for ITV, Channel Four and commercial radio is the UK government. I know the banks received a bail our, sadly I know the reasons why. But is commercial radio and TV really in need of such subsidy ?

The charade that is the X Factor audition

Firstly let me say that I am a big fan of the X factor, I have watched it each and every year and along with Harry Hill's TV burp, it is the only programme I watch on ITV. But does anyone for one minute actually believe the contrived series of events that they put out each week when they show the auditions.

Firstly, you only get to perform for the two judges if you are either very good or very bad. Everyone else is filtered out at a series of pre-auditions. You are expected to stand around and wave like a performing seal shouting "We've got the X Factor" so that Dermot can do his links in front of you. If you moan about anything you will be thrown out of the auditions. And finally, the signs saying things like "I've got the X Factor" and "I love Simon" are made by the production team and given out to the people for staged shots. Presumably this is also done for Big Brother.

Don't get me wrong, I know it is al part of the entertainment, but the show is appearing to be more and more contrived and controlled. Why not show some element of the pre auditions ? Why not allow through some of the god people and omit some of those who have no ability at all ?

If you want to read more about the X Factor auditions, there is an excellent article about them HERE.

I think I need to move to Scotland

I see that STV, who remain outside of the ownership of the rest of the mainland ITV network , have dropped certain ITV shows from their schedule and are producing more local programming in their place.

I have for some time stated that I think ITV turn out generic crap that either apes poorly what the BBC are doing or produces safe and uninspired drama that allows you to turn your brain off. It really should be no surprise to anyone that ITV are in so much financial trouble.

The problems at ITV started when their regional identity started to go. Locally here in Norwich Anglia TV had a reputation of turning out quality drama (Tales of the Unexpected, The PD James detective mysteries, The Chief, and other) and great wildlife documentaries through Survival Productions. The regional network might have been costly, but it allowed each area of the network to specialist and also provide competition. As soon as this diversity went from ITV, so did the originality and the quality. Now in Norwich all they produce is regional news.

So perhaps I should move to Scotland where at least they still value locally produced programming.

When local news isn't local

Apparently there was no real news in the Eastern region today, not if BBC East and Anglia News is to be believed.

Instead of featuring real local news, ITV Anglia and BBC East decided that wasting nearly 15 minutes on the marches and protesters in London was local news simply because ;

1) Barack Obama landed at Stansted airport.

2) Some people from East Anglia work in London.

Presumably then because some people from the East of England also go on holiday to Spain, we will have local news live from Spain when they next have a general election ?

Local news makes itself irrelevant by aping reports that are already being covered on national news. In simple terms the protests in London are not local news to anyone except those living in the London region. If Anglia or BBC East are bored with local news then it shows them up to be poor journalists.

Is there any Z list celebrity TV challenge that Lembit Opik won't do ?

Every time they announce a new celebrity challenge TV show my heart sinks knowing there is a good chance Lembit Opik will whore himself by appearing in the show. Thankfully he didn't appear in "I'm a Celebrity", but appearances on various TV shows from Celebrity Apprentice (which was a good show but left me feeling Lembit came out of it very badly) to Celebrity Mr and Mrs, and others along the way, as a Lib Dem, make my heart sink.

Lembit apparently feels he is unappreciated in the Lib Dems by the members as a whole and feels that some bloggers fail to give him credit for things he has done.

So should I give him credit for appearing in the latest celebrity feature "Team Ant versus Team Dec" on "Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway" ?

No, of course not. When he ought to be knocking on doors in his constituency, when he ought to be doing the work his is paid to do, instead he is appearing on a ITV1.

Credit where credit is due Lembit. Now go and do something I can give you credit for.

The complete and utter hopeless incompetence of ITV and their FA Cup coverage of Everton vs Liverpool

After 90 minutes of football and 28 minutes of extra time, with the score Everton 0, Liverpool 0, for some completely unexplainable reason ITV decided to go to an advert break whilst the match was still playing, only to return from the break with Everton having scored !

Absolute total rubbish coverage from ITV and further proof why they are not fit to cover sport.

Update :And now to compound matters, they have returned from the post match advert break half way through an interview with the Everton goalscorer !

The half hearted throw away apology for "technical problems" does not do their incompetence justice.

Stockwell on ITV

ITV showed a well made docu-drama this evening showing the shocking way in which the police cocked up at almost every level well killing Jean Charles de Menezes on Stockwell tube.

What ITV did gloss over was the fact that the court now accepts that those police officers lied when they said

1) That Jean Charles de Menezes jumped barriers at the station.

2) They shouted clear warnings to him.

3) They said he walked towards them in a threatening manner.

The question remains why the police can effectively assassinate someone on the London underground, why officers can tell lies to court yet the rule of law does not apply to them.

Reporter in peril ? Julian Mannion of ITV news

You have to laugh at the reporting on ITV news this evening. I don't doubt that Julian Mannion is actually in Israel reporting on the invasion of Gaza, but his constant repeating of the line "you can probably hear the explosions in the background", didn't alter the fact that you could hear no explosions, see no explosions, and to all intents and purposes it looked as if he was stood in a field just off the M25.

I'd have more sympathy for ITVs declining income if they were not so extravagant

ITV, as we are constantly reminded, is an organisation in some trouble.

It is finding it difficult to stay ahead of BBC2 some weeks in terms of prime time viewing, it paid massively over the odds for the Friends Reunited website, and even before the recession, its incomes from advertising was sharply in decline. Yes, ITV are sacking hundreds of journalists around the country in order to slash costs.

Yet when you hear about what they are lavishing on people in Australia for "I'm a Celebrity - Get me out of here !", it really does make you wonder if ITV is not the architect of its own misfortune.

A friend of mine knows one of the family members of one of the "I'm a celebrity" contestants, and this person has been treated like royalty by ITV.

Just to give you the lowdown on what family members and friends taken over to Australia by ITV can expect

1) A limo to pick you up from your house to take you to the airport.
2) First class travel.
3) Accommodation in one of only two 7* hotels in Australia, with each suite having a private pool, and all this for the duration of the series.

Yes, indeed, when ITV next try to justify sacking journalists someone should ask them why they cannot put family members in a 5* hotel, why they cannot fly them business class, and do they really need a limo when a taci could do ?

Is Esther Rantzen that dim ?

I am currently watching a dreadful documentary on ITV called "Esther versus the PC Brigade", which is one of ITV's "Tonight" shows.

In this shows she addresses the issue of people being unwilling to help children for fear of allegations being made against them, and she says this is all down to "political correctness".

She used, as an example, a child actor standing looking lost in a shopping centre whilst people walked past. Every time someone walked past she made some daft reference to "political correctness", whilst never making the link that it was actually through fear that people didn't stop to help.

Too often, sadly, people will sue, make allegations or seek to make the good Samaritan look like the devil. Apparently though Esther Rantzen seemed unwilling to acknowledge this fact and instead liked her show to make reference to "jobsworth teachers", whilst ignoring the steady but rising number of malicious and false allegations made against teachers.

Is Esther Rantzen really as thick as the show seemed to indicate ? Clearly there was not balance, not attempt to speak to someone who had false allegations made against them or to examine in depth why people are afraid to stop and help a child. One thing is for sure, it is nothing to do with political correctness and much more to do with our litigious society.

Is ITV News run by Russians ?

I was astonished by the one sided version of the world given to us at teatime today on the ITV teatime news.

ITV constantly referred to South Ossetia as being "a disputed territory" and "pro Russian province", but at no point made clear that it is an internationally recognised part of Georgia, not a part of Russia. When ITV News gave their account of how the recent troubles started they by implication made out that Georgia had attacked Russia and at no point explained that they were trying to recapture territory held by the Russians which was legally Georgian.

No wonder I watch the BBC news more often than ITV.

P.S. And any one who wants to debate why South Ossetia should not become independent of Russia because it's population wants to be independent, might I point out that Chechens also want to be independent, but Russia is not willing to accept the will of the people in their case.

Why ITV have got it all wrong

Unusually, because I usually agree with the excellent writing of City Unslicker, I disagree with the thrust of his story today about why ITV are failing.

He asserts that ITV cannot compete with the BBC's licence fee subsidising the payment of big stars and that the BBC steals ITV's best ideas.

Actually, he could not be more wrong on the second point.

Take any BBC innovation in recent years and ITV have stolen it, renamed it, and generally made a crapper less interesting and much more shallow copy.

Just turning on ITV today brings up Jeremy Kyle (need I remind people that Kilroy was making this sort of show on the BBC nearly 20 years ago), Daily Cooks Challenge (Ready Steady Cook was out on the BBC 14 years ago), Golden Balls (a show where contestants "vote off" other contestants like the BBC's Weakest Link) and there are many, many more examples.

The truth of it is that the BBC is actually much more cutting edge than ITV. ITV have lost the desire to win new audiences because there is a risk that there may not be enough viewers to get the ads in, so it plays safe to a shrinking audience.

Would we have ever seen The Office coming from ITV ? What about Little Britain or Gavin and Stacey ? We all know that there is not a cat in hell's chance of ITV making a show like them because making another series of Heartbeat or Lewis will bring in more guaranteed cash.

As for the idea that the BBC buys up all the big stars, yes they do pay big wages (too big) to certain people, but would Jonathan Ross be making the shows he does for the BBC on ITV ? His series on BBC3 about all things Japanese was interesting and showed a real insight in to Japan that I would never expect to see from ITV. I'm not Jonathan Ross' greatest fan, but let's face it, he does more than one thing a week. A Radio DJ, his chat show, his Film Show and other things too, he does work for his cash. Let's not forget though that ITV too like to pay big money to stars, it's just that ITV's stars are not really that great.

ITV paid a large sum as a "Golden Handcuffs" to Vernon Kay. Who ? Come on, he hosted "Beat the Star", a show which involved ordinary body builders (yes, they were that ordinary) trying to climb up piles of barrels or bang nails on to wood faster than a former sports star. What do you mean you've never heard of it ? And that's the point. This show "Beat the Star" was a prime time show, but do people really get excited about watching people milking cows as a race (I was told this was one of the challenges).

The lack of original ideas within ITV is highlighted too not just by Beat The Star, but by the number of celebrity related shows which basically re-hash old ideas but with celebs in place. Perhaps the worst example of which is Soap Star Super Chef. Remember this ? I thought not.

Even ITV's big shows, the ones that are must see TV are often seen as less than scrupulous in their running. Simon Cowell (here is someone else ITV can pay a fortune too) is the man behind X Factor and Britain's Got Talent, but you'd have to ask serious questions too about the validity of the results of both shows when there are numerous reports (and I have highlighted the problems) regarding the way the shows handle the votes.

So there we have it. We can blame the BBC for everything if we want, but then do we all want to sound like Daily Mail reporters. The truth is ITV's problem lie with ITV, not the BBC.

Why do ITV employ match summarisers who cannot pronounce names ?

Presumably ITV employ Sam Allarcyce and David pleat because they can summarise what happens in football match. The problem is that I fail to understand fully what they are saying because they keep making reference to players who are not in the pitch. Why ? Because they cannot pronounce foreign players names (although David Pleat has, for years, had problems with English names too).

Hearing Sam Allardyce referring before the Sweden vs Spain match to Zoltan over and over again (presumably he meant Zlatan Ibrahimovic), made me wonder if he was referring to some comic book alien King, whilst David Pleat seems to have problems with most of the Spanish team and half the Swedes too.

What is the point in summarising a match if you cannot even get the basics right like getting people's names correct ?

Observations on tonight's talent shows

Two things I have observed tonight from the BBC's I'd Do Anything and ITV's Britain's Got Talent.

Firstly, in the search for a Nancy, it was pretty clear last week that Cameron Mackintosh does not want Jodie to win, and from his blatant comments tonight he wants Jessie. Somehow you can't help but feel that Mackintosh is too much of a theatre "luvvie" and that Jodie is just a bit too normal and common for his tastes. I disagree and feel that Mackintosh's preferred candidate Jessie is inconsistent and her obsession with doing a cockney accent be pronouncing every "s" sound as a "sh", is just daft.

As for Britain's got talent, they have put all the favourites at the end of the show (as they have every other night) and if I hear Amanda Holden say "I agree with everything Piers has just said", I will scream. It certainly must make Simon Cowell wonder why he employs her if all she can do is agree with Piers Morgan.

Update : Well done Jodie on becoming Nancy. It's so nice to see someone from a normal working class background do so well.

Is Britain's Got Talent being manipulated ?

A strange thing seems to be happening each night on the show "Britain's Got Talent". Every night, of all the eight acts that perform, the winning act is the eighth and last one to perform. Strange co-incidence or is there another reason ?

Well actually the reason is clear, and it harks back to similar issues of manipulation of the final of The X Factor (another Simon Cowell show ... hmm).

Ant and Dec make clear throughout the show that the lines are not open, so watching each of the first seven acts, you are prevented from voting for one that you like. Nothing wrong with that at all. But then, as soon as the eighth act has performed, and whilst the telephone number for the eight act is on screen, Ant and Dec then tell us that "The lines are open". Now, those people who have sat patiently and want to vote for another act are then waiting for a reminder of their favourite act before voting. The problem is for them that they don't get a reminder for some time because at this point Ant and Dec and the judges talk about act number eight for another four minutes. So act number eight has had four minutes where only it is being promoted. It's akin to having a polling station open for the first hour just for one political party.

Now this is not a problem if the polls are open for some considerable amount of time because this advantage at the start can be diminished. However, the phone lines for Britain's Got Talent are only open for 15 minutes. And just like the X Factor final, the phone lines get very busy meaning that people who waited the extra 4 or 5 minutes in order to get the correct phone number for the act they like are less likely to be able to get through on the phones.

Now ITV have realised this evening that this was not quite right and they do now put up the phone numbers for the other acts a little sooner, but they do not do a resume of the other acts for quite some time. This leads to another problem for viewers. They might like a particular singer or act, but cannot remember his or her name and they wait for the resume, the short 10 second clip of the artist performing in order to be sure which one they want to vote for. So again, Act number 8 has an advantage as throughout this period Act number eight has been on screen.

This whole process really does call in to question the validity of the competition and smacks of another type of phone line fiddle which ITV have been found guilty of on many occasions recently. Whilst ITV might not making extra money from the scam, they are, in effect, pre-determining the result of a show which is supposed to be a talent show. Surely being placed number 8 in the running order and let's be clear, act number 8 has also been the strongest act each night. Another odd coincidence which was not lost on the producers I am sure.

Oddly too, when thinking back, I seem to recall that last year's winner, Paul Potts was also the last act on stage in the final. Curiouser and curiouser.

Clearly Britain's Got Talent, but so have the people who make the show and ITV. They have a talent for manipulation.

ITV and the art of awful football commentary

It was a real pleasure to watch the Champions League match on SKY Sports tonight having had to put up with the dreadful ITV during what was a pulsating match between Liverpool and Arsenal last night.

People might like to moan about footballers and the theatrics, but ITV lost all sense of proportion last night and showed a degree of bias of have not heard before and sadly set a very poor example to anyone watching regarding the way the game should be played.

In the first instance, it was hardly even handed to have an ex Liverpool player as part of the commentary team, which instantly showed a degree of bias on ITV's part, but what was evident throughout was a level of support for Liverpool which was sometimes blatant rather than hidden.

This ITV bias became obvious in the last few minutes when Arsenal equalised to make it 2-2. Arsenal's second goal was astonishingly good with Theo Walcott beating half the Liverpool team, running 60 yards and squaring the ball for a simple tap in for Adebayor. My expectation was that ITV might eulogise about the goal. Instead we were told that the reason for the goal was an error by a Liverpool player who was "weak" because he "should have brought Walcott down by fouling him deliberately on the half way line" and the Liverpool player should have "taken a yellow card for the team".

What a dreadful message ITV's commentary team was putting across for the publi at large, and for anyone children watching whatever sort of example does this set ?

The fact that Liverpool scored two minutes later from what to me seemed a dodgy penalty (which ITV had no doubts about despite the replays showing it to be not clear cut), seemed to send ITV in to a further spin referring to the Liverpool penalty as " a fairytale goal". It was a dodgy penalty, not a fairytale goal, but ITV seemed so caught up in supporting Liverpool that they lost the objectivity that was required.

I do expect British TV to show some bias towards British teams when they are playing foreign teams. this is only natural as most of their viewers will be wanting the British team to win. But when two British teams are playing each other you expect even handed objectivity, not lessons on how one team should have kicked a player of the pitch and eulogies about one team as opposed to the other team.

ITV News At Ten - Cocking up and Sucking Up

Lots of people, particularly the Tories seem to believe that there is a bias in the BBC's reporting of politics that is unfairly weighted against them, and some, rather ignorantly, hailed the return of the ITV News at Ten as a "counterweight" to the BBC. Only, the truth is that ITV's News at Ten have already shown a tendency to let the government off the hook for "favours". Although this hasn't stopped Sir Trevor McDonald (Stuffed Shirt of the Year 1989-2007) from managing to cause the cock up of the year and throwing away a golden opportunity for a scoop over the BBC.

ITV had been granted an "exclusive", by Gordon Brown inviting Sir Trevor McDonald to be the first ever journalist to be able to film during a proper cabinet meeting. The only problem is, as The Scum on Sunday reports, he failed to turn up to this exclusive meeting, indeed, nobody was able to contact him. ITV claim that the time had been changed and that Sir Trevor had made no mistake. Only, if this were true, why did they try to send Julie Etchingham in his place ?

So how did ITV win the opportunity to get the "exclusive". Well if you examine the fact that ITV have not been going for the government on the issues of the day, perhaps those Tories who were so critical of the BBC might wake up and "smell the coffee". ITV failed completely to report that Gordon Brown had described Peter Hain's actions as "incompetence". The fact that this was headline news on Sky, BBC, BBC Radio, Independent Radio and in the written press showed the levels ITV news are prepared to go to in order to suck up to the government.

Did anyone actually miss the bongs ?

So ITV have decided to bring back The News at Ten, because there is a dearth of news at that time (I don't know if anyone at ITV realises that there is the BBC ten O'clock news on the other side, and Sky News). The question is did anyone really miss it ?

I am not a fan of Trevor McDonald, in fact I don't know anyone who really is a fan of his. There is little to be a fan of. He is dead pan, comes across as terribly pompous and as can be seen from some of the awful performances he puts in when hosting awards nights, he lacks empathy.

On Radio Five Live earlier they were talking about "The Bongs", as they are referred to, and The Mirror's campaign a few years ago to "Bring Back The Bongs", when they launched a campaign to get ITV to bring the News At Ten back. What apparently surprised The Mirror was that nobody cared. They dropped their campaign pretty quickly.

So what of tonight's rival news programmes with ITV and The BBC going head to head ? I thought the BBC won it hands down. John Simpson's exclusive report live from Zimbabwe was unique, was something ITV had no answer to, and as was made clear in the Simpson report, he had problem over there because even though he was under cover, people kept recognising him.

Like the BBC or loathe it, when it comes to major news and international news, even foreigners tune in to the BBC.

Lib Dem wins "I'm a celebrity" ?

I am sure I am correct in thinking that "I'm a celebrity - Get me out of here" winner, Christopher Biggins is a well known supporter of the Lib Dems (or was in the past).

Either way, I didn't watch much of the show, but what I saw of him on it he was the nicest, most personable and genuine of all the contestants and he deserved to win.

The Cadbury's "In the Air tonight" Gorilla advert - Have you bought any extra chocolate as a result of watching it ?

We are told that all publicity is good publicity. Personally I think this is absolute rubbish. If the chief executive of Super Dooper plc was suddenly charged with being a paedophile, it would create massive puclicity for Super Dooper plc, but little of it would be good publicity. The same goes with adverts. Some great, some awful, but people say if you remember them they are good adverts. but do they sell any products.

I like, as a piece of art, the new Cadbury's adverts featuring the Phil Collins song "In the air tonight" being drummed to by a Gorill (see YouTube clip below), but is it actually a great advert in the sense of selling chocolate ?



The first few times I saw the advert I failed to remember it was a Cadbury's advert and instead thought it was promoting Phil Collins greatest hits. I know people who still think this, so from the angle of promoting Cadbury's, is it effective ?

Then there is the second promotional angle. Cadburys sell chocolate. This is their job, their function, the purpose. Now I am a chocoholic, I can eat chocolate until it virtually makes me sick, and then I eat more. However, I can honestly say I have not bought a bar of chocolate in three months. If if this advert has had no effect on me, what is it like for others ? Has this adverts seen Cadburys sell more chocolate ?

So as great a piece of work as it is, as great a piece of art as it is, is it a good advert in terms of selling the product. No, I don't think it is. However, compared to most of the TV shows that ITV show around the adverts, this advert is probably the best thing on ITV at the moment.