A "Spoonerism" would make this headline correct

Just one slip of the tongue and this headline would have been perfect.

Is it yet another example of Vince Cable's dry humour ?

Note : Definition of "Spoonerism"

Real life is funnier than fiction

This BBC clip of a couple of criminals, handcuffed together, making a run for from a New Zealand courtroom showed just how stupid criminals can be.

Schoolboy moment during Obama inauguration

Please tell me I wasn't the only one who thought it funny when Aretha Franklin paused during a line in the song 'my Country Tis of Thee' halfway through the word 'country' ?

I have to admit I never expected Aretha Frankling to call Barack Obama "my Count................ry" (and it rhymed with runt).

East Anglian Boy

Check out this remixed and reworked version of Estelle's American Boy, specially altered to be about East Anglian Boy.



Yes, it is self parody and no we are not all like that.

Another one of those "You know you shouldn't laugh" stories

It's terribly sad and certainly not a laughing matter, but THIS STORY does just serve to highlight that surely there is no God.

Lost in translation

From the BBC website. For anyone who has ever used an internet translation site.

Tory MP stopped by customs officials - THE TRUTH

Reports that Tory MP Michael Fabricant had been stopped by Colombian officials who beleived he may be trafficking something illegal are correct, but the exact truth of the story has been "lost in translation".

The BBC and other news services report that he was stopped by officials who thought his coffee whitener was cocaine. This is not entirely correct.

Colombia also has strict laws about the smuggling or rare and endangered animals, particularly the long haired guinea pigs found in South America. It is understood that customs officials stopped mr Fabricant and ordered him to remove the long haired guinea pig from his head and it was only after some tuging and pulling from officials and a full body search that they actually realised that it really is his hair !

Update - I am reminded of Simon Hoggart's quote regarding Mr Fabricant who said something along the lines of "You have to assume it is actually his hair because nobody would buy a wig that bad".

Funny quote on Cameron

Watching Mock the Week from last week (yes, I know I am late) on Sky+, I found the quote from comedian Frankie Boyle about Cameron turning up in Georgia to offer support to the Georgians absolutely hilarious.

"Securing the support of David Cameron is on a par with getting the support of both Chuckle Brothers and Andy Townsend"

Made me laugh.

Not quite as bad as Norfolk Police

THIS story about the response from police after Formula One Champion Michael Schumacher was involved in an accident at the weekend reminded me of a similar story about 20 years ago when Norfolk police stopped a speeding Lotus in Norfolk not far from the car company's headquarters in Hethel, South Norfolk.

The policeman was reprted to have asked the chap who he stopped "Who do you think you are ? Ayrton Senna ?"

"Yes, replied the man"

"Are you taking the ... ?"

Only for the policeman to take a proper look and realise it was Ayrton Senna.

Has anyone seen my plane ?

I remember parking my aeroplane somewhere, but for the life of me I cannot remember where !

Do you know where your wife is ?

Has your wife or partner told you they are going round a friends or has got an evening job ?

That's what a man thought in THIS story. Oh dear !

Overheard in a supermarket ... you couldn't make it up

I went in to Lidl, the low cost supermarket which sells all sort of things but no brands you would recognise, and overheard a young boy of about 6 years of age following his mother, who looked like a cross between Vicki Pollard and Waynetta Slob around. About half way round the shop she asked the boy

"What do you want for your tea"

"Beans on toast", he replied.

And the mother's response genuinely was "I told you I'm not f*cking cooking for you tonight. You can have some biscuits".

For all those who think parenting classes are not a good idea, I can assure you they are desperately needed by some people.

Britain's dumbest criminals ?

It's nice to know that some dim thieves were not able to ruin someone's Christmas when they stole a load of presents from under a tree in office belonging to South Hams Council in Devon.

Apparently the thieves who stole the boxes were so dim they were unable to detect that the boxes were unbelievably light and when shaken, would make no sound. Yes, these thieves were so stupid that they stole a load of boxes containing nothing but fresh air.

A funny from school - The problem with taking things too literally

I group of children from my school returned from a residential trip recently, and the mother of one of the boys came in today to ask if the school had any photos of the trip.

This seemed a strange request as the lady's son had taken a disposable camera with him and was seen snapping away merrily on the camera on numerous occasions and seemed to have made full use of the camera.

"What is wrong with your son's photos ?" We asked.

"He didn't bring it home with him" she replied. "I asked him if he had taken any photos and he said he had used up the film. When I asked him where the camera was because I could not find it in the case, he told me he had thrown it in the bin. When I asked why he simply replied that he had done it because it was a disposable camera !"

I'm not sure whether as a school we should be concerned about the boy's common sense or pleased that he has fully grasped the meaning of the word disposable.

Football Anthem gaffe has Croats laughing

I wonder it we would be so forgiving if someone sang our national anthem wrong, as was the case for Croatia on Wednesday.

The singer, Tony Henry, sang one wrong word, meaning that one line sounded to Croatians like "My dear, my penis is a mountain".

The Croations, far from being upset want Tony Henry to now sing for them at the Euro 2008 finals.

A solution to the problem of cats cr*pping on my driveway ?

Who said the Australians have never invented anything ?

The lengths some blokes will go to when showing off in front of girls

You just know that this had to have happened when a bloke was trying to impress a girl.

I don't want to worry David Cameron, but ...

With reference to the story posted earlier here by myself and here by Ed Maxfield, worrying pictures have emerged of the little cat in question and his latest snooze !

For anyone who has not followed the links, this little cat lives in a nursing home in America and has curled up 25 times next to people who have subsequently passed away. With all the bad press "Dave" has been getting this week, is the little cat now predicting political death too ?

Don't worry David, if it is anything like the speech you made this week to the Rwandan Parliament then nobody will be there to see it.

Not the perfect dinner party

An astonishing story from today's Independent.

I guess that uis what happens when you have pushy guests who take over.

Alan Titchmarsh as you've never seen him before

I was bored and looking on Youtube when I came across this video clip.



My apologies if you have seen it before.