If you were an Everton player ...

A short multiple choice questionnaire.

1) You are leading 2-0 and there is just 30 seconds left in the first half. The opposition have just had a free kick in you half, all their full backs are up the pitch. The ball breaks to you in your own half.

Do you :

a) Keep possession in an attempt to waste the final 30 seconds of the first half.

b) Try a stupid flick with the outside of your foot knowing that losing goal at this vital time could be disastrous.

2) You are drawing 2-2 in a game in which you were 2 - 0 up and cruising. There are just five minutes left and you win a free kick half way in the opposition's half.

Do you :

a) Take the free kick from the correct position, waiting for the full backs to get up in to the opposition's half in order to use their height to score a goal.

b) Take the free kick 10 yards behind where the free kick should actually have been taken ensuring that your full backs have not yet got forward and are now in a sort of no mans land.

Yes, if you hadn't worked it out, if you answered (a) in both cases, you are not stupid enough to play for Everton. If you answered (b) to both, write to David Moyes, c/o Everton Football Club Limited, Goodison Park Stadium, Liverpool.

P.S. Yes, as well as being a Norwich fan I am also an Everton fan (Everton are my first club) and yes, I am mightily pissed off at the inept display of footballing stupidity emanating from Goodison Park this afternoon.