Missing man charged by police

Boris Johnson, who had been selected as Conservative London Mayoral candidate went missing some months ago, with the press and Londoners at a loss to understand where he had gone, why he had nothing to say on issues affecting London and why he wanted the job of London Mayor in the first place.

In recent months some have suggested it was an inside job with the Conservative Party being accused of having knowledge of Boris' whereabouts, but were too afraid to reveal that he had not in fact gone missing and he was, instead, just bloody useless and bone idle.

Police sources suggest the Mr Johnson has been charged with wasting every ones time.

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