I'd draw the curtains.
No, seriously, I would. Having been to Carrow Road this evening to watch Norwich versus Stoke, I can honestly say I have never seen a team play so little football as Stoke. Just a succession of balls pumped aimlessly forward, relying in the ball going out for a throw in , whereupon some bloke launched the ball repeatedly from throws in to the box.
As an Everton fan, I might show bias towards them, but I am a genuine football fan. Living in Norwich, I like to watch Norwich City, but when I lived in Coventry, I went to watch Coventry City and similarly, when I lived in Northampton, and went and watched Northampton Town. However, if I lived in Stoke, I'd have to watch Port Vale because in terms of the legal definition of the word "football", I am not sure that the "kick and rush" stuff that Stoke plays even qualifies as football.
It's little wonder that Stoke brought so few away fans (did they come in a taxi ?) and they have thousands of empty seats at home games every week.
If I were a Derby fan I'd pray that Stoke go up to the Premiership, because they would surely set a new record for the fewest points scored in the Premiership of they do, thus saving Derby's blushes.