Why does technology always let me down ?

I love gadgets, I am a gadget geek. I've ordered a new phone today so I can blog from it, but the hassles "technology" gave me in ordering it meant I changed who I ordered it from because I couldn't trust their technology would work. Confused ?

I was all set to change networks and switch to T-Mobile. The only question I needed answering was "What are their call tariffs ?". Just a simple check on their website surely ? NO - I WAS wrong, it was certainly not the sort of information that they were going to give me via a website, at least, not without making me check every screen.

Never fear, I thought, I can phone them. Having phoned up T-Mobile three times, each time shortly after "this message may be recorded for training and monitoring purposes", I was promptly cut off. Oh dear, I thought. Shoddy website, poor phone system, can I trust them to operate a mobile phone network ? I saw it as a sign. Sop I renewed with Vodafone after all.

So then to my next problem. I go to Tesco, I am faced with two choices;

1) A Human serving me at a till (but with a long queue)

2) A Tesco automated self service checkout till (no queue)

"I'm not afraid of technology", I bravely and cheerfully wanted to shout as I walked past the queues as I happily strolled up to the self service counter with my milk and margarine. "Two items. I'll be done in a flash", I though rather smugly.

But no.

The machine breaks on me, a red light starts flashing at the top of the kiosk, a spotty but rather helpful boy called Matt who I used to teach 7 years ago comes over and tries to reset the machine whilst the queues waiting to be served by a human quickly get served, and I'm left standing there. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Eventually Matt tells me, "you'd be quicker going to the other counter whilst I sort this". Of course, of course. New technology is great, but I should have known it would have been quicker to have gone the "traditional" route. Stupid me. There's a lesson learnt.

So then off to MFI. No problems, exchanged some lights, bought a new dimmer switch, all dead easy and technology didn't interfere at all, I even paid by cash to make sure of avoiding any chip and pin nightmares. But as I left the shop, technology intervened again, sliding doors open, I leave, just as the shoplifting alarm goes "beep, beep, beep". Everyone looks at me, I'm standing there looking guilty as hell, I wait, and I wait, but no one, not a single member of staff appears. So after being humiliated by technology, and with a whiff of "deja vu", I then remember that the same thing had happened to me two weeks before. I was more upset that a member of staff didn't come over and publicly say "Oh, sorry about that", so people could at least see I wasn't stealing. As it was, I just looked like a crap shoplifter who got away with it because staff couldn't be bothered !

I wander back to me car asking my wife, who shows know sympathy for my trials and tribulations today, "Why does it always happen to me ?". I think she thinks I bring it on myself.